The Agony of the Decision

Sleeping Bear (the small perched dune atop the cliff of moraine) with the Manitou Islands in the distance

“Put Your Oxygen Mask on First”

like Mother Bear
with her two cubs
fleeing the raging
fires of Wisconsin
and forging the waters
of Lake Michigan
one hundred eighteen
long
miles
into wind
and waves
in the legend
of Sleeping Bear

how her paws
plunged
into the water
repeatedly
until reaching
the other side
and how she
crawled
up the glacial
mountain
of moraine
alone
to wait
for the arrival
of her cubs

who
never
appeared

and how I realize
after leaving
my own mother
to sail that lake
with my husband
the month
she nearly died
the agony of the decision
to prioritize
one’s own health
when responsible
for the care
of another

and how
I wonder if
Mother Bear regretted
not placing the cubs
on her back
as she swam
so that she might
feel the warmth
of their exhaustion
next to hers
or wished she
had dropped
with them
deep
beneath
the surface
of the water
as family
rather than

forever
waiting
and watching
from afar
as their bodies
created
the genesis
of the Manitou Islands
and nature
formed
a tumulus
of sand
about her
grief-stricken
body