Losses

Death, certainly, is the most permanent. 
Like the time my older sister lost her kitten
to the teeth of the dog next door. 

Or the morning he, who could no longer speak, 
said goodbye to his wife with his eyes. 
But I also have wept after witnessing 

the mental and physical decline of ones I love; 
at knowing I, too, am aging and life changes 
are inevitable. I have experienced the betrayal 

associated with harassment, discrimination, assault, 
and the resulting loss of faith in humanity. 
I am living with the heartbreak of seeing 

the blue waters of a beloved lake blanketed green; 
the sandy beaches I used to walk defined by pebbles, 
impassable because of new rock embankments. 

But the losses hardest for me to shoulder 
are those caused by my own mistakes; when I, 
usually speeding through life’s to-do list, 

trample on ones I care for deeply; 
when I harm and am erased from a life, 
a wall created to keep me outside. 

How I deal with loss is a matter of choice. 
And since all losses can potentially tear apart 
any peace of mind, I want to choose wisely. 

I asked my husband his thoughts
and he was surprised I cared so much 
about football.