forgiveness

he decided to build a moat
around his life, ignoring
my pleas for forgiveness 
for whatever I did to offend, 
refusing even a drawbridge
for conversation, choosing
to be estranged
forever
and for years I lay awake,
my pillow a whipping post
for my imperfect self,
knowing I was
unworthy of his love,
or any love, until
one night, long after 
he was gone, I chose
to forgive him
for not forgiving me
and that night 
I dreamed us 
again side-by-side
in the pink hue of dusk
listening to the birds 
gathering in the treetops, 
chattering and squabbling 
until that moment when
the last trace of light
disappeared and the 
silence of sleep 
blanketed the forest
and I did not awaken
until dawn

Since the death of my mother in July, I have been writing poems about grief. To my surprise, poems emerged that had nothing to do with Mother, for grief encompasses far more than death. As the poems unraveled on the page, I discovered joy, humor and the power of six words, “I am sorry” and “I forgive you.” I am at peace. I wish you the same this holiday season.